"Let's just start with the word Vagina.
Vagina.
It sounds like an infection at best.
Maybe medical instrument
"Hurry, nurse, bring me the Vagina."
Vagina.
Vagina.
It doesn't matter how many times you say the word, it never sounds like a word you want to say.
It's a completely ridiculous, totally unsexy word.
(...)
I'm worried about what we call it and don't call it.
In the great neck, New York, they call it a "Pussycat".
A woman told me there, her mother used to tell her, "don't wear panties, dear, underneath your pajamas, you need to air out your Pussycat."
In Westchester, they call it a "Pookie".
In New Jersey, a "Twat".
There's "Powder Box",a "Poochi",a "Poopi", a "Pee-pee", a "Poopalu",a "Pooninana" and a "Piche".
There's "Toadie", "Dee-dee", "Nishi", "Dignity", "Coochie Snorcher", "Cooter", "Labbe", "Gladys Siegelman", "Va", "Wee-wee", "Whorespot", "Nappy Dugout", "Mongo", "Monkey Box", "Pajama", "Fannyboo", "Mushmellow", "Ghoulie", "Possible", "Tamale", "Tottita", "Connie", a "Mimi" In Miami, a "Split Knish" in Philadelphia.
And a "Schmende" In The Bronx.
I am worried about Vaginas.